Tag Archives | love

“Love Warrior,” a Memoir of Us All

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Glennon Doyle Melton’s clean yet clever writing style shows up fully dressed in her recent New York Times bestseller, “Love Warrior.” In it, she walks us through the journey of her return to self through her relationship with her husband, Craig.

I won’t spoil it for you, but I can tell you that this book is for you

– if you have ever felt abandoned by life, love, your body or self.

– if you’ve anesthetized or run away from pain through drugs, sex, perfection, disconnection.

– if you feel so deeply or care so much that you are prone to soaring heights and searing pain.

And if the term, “brutiful,” (coined by Glennon) perfectly describes life to you, then her life-telling style will resonate. Even if you don’t feel you have time or energy to read, because you are trudging through more “brutal” than “beautiful” these days, “Love Warrior” will nourish and heal as you consume.

And it will be delicious.

It will be so nourishing and delicious that you will have to periodically put it down to gasp for air, to savor the punch of flavors it brings out of you, to nosh on the robust chunks of “A-ha!” and “Gadzooks!” throughout.

Chef Glennon knows soul food.

Those of you who have loved or been frustrated by someone who’s struggled with any of the above will be able to see the warrior within yourself, as well. You will recognize your own frailties and be called to greater heights of compassion, as you peek behind the veil of your exasperator’s heart.

You get to see how an incidental heartbreaker, played here by Glennon’s husband, Craig, can also be a beautifully flawed human being, a hero-in-training. Through Glennon and Craig’s relationship, you learn how concentric our stories of victory can be with those who have hurt us by their own struggles.
“Love Warrior” is for the soul-searchers, survivors, internal-strugglers, and seekers of truth and healing.

That all said, “Love Warrior,” may not be for you if

– you’re looking for specific “how-to” instructions;

– you feel uncomfortable with people sharing intimate details of their lives; or

– you have no interest in anything non-technical or non-clinical.

If you enjoy food for thought by Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Karen Salmansohn, and the like, Glennon’s ability to serve the complexities of life in palatable bites will hit the spot.

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“Midlife” (Grace Revisited)

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(Photo Credit: Uploaded by Kalaskai)

(I wrote the piece below in June of 2009, at the earliest rays of a new dawn for me.  It was one of my very few scattered attempts to write, before I established this blog at the end of last summer.  It is significant to me because I remember sitting down to write it, very calm and resolved for the first time in decades.  It was as if I blew a whistle in a storm, and the swirling moved away from me, and with utter respectful tranquility, allowed me to speak from a place both deep inside and beyond the horizon.

It was originally written in paragraph form, but I’ve rearranged its movement down the page.)

“MIDLIFE”

So this is what it is like.

One day, you wake up
and you assess your position in life because
the dust storm has died down
and the demons have tired away
and you have a breath in time to stop.

Then, without warning, you realize that
you didn’t accomplish what you wanted,
you didn’t get what you deserved,
and you don’t know what you want to be when you grow on.

You look around and you didn’t get to
have the house you dreamed
you would give to your darling children,
who have been there in the dark with you
and saved
all your lives
with the kind of light that the world desperately needs,

who deserved beautiful, bright rooms,
and a generous yard with lush grass
and strong trees
to move their memories through.

You find yourself exhausted and aching from a back
cracked in two from over-bending in ways
unseen and resulting in symptoms
misunderstood.

You remember the minds you’ve read
of individuals living in the twilight zone
of prosperity
and ignorance
and certain meanness.

You can’t help but wonder,
Did I do the right thing?
Did I teach my children to be kind and polite, thoughtful and giving,
so that they can be devoured
by the new generation of wolves?

In a panic, you turn to
your best friend from when you were untouched,
your soldier friends from when you were being touched,
and angel friends from when you could no longer feel.

These are the ones who have never judged you
for being surrounded by darkness—
conflict, trauma, dismay–
when you had nothing to give them
but tears, lament,
for their friendship.

You start to realize that w/out this shaking and tossing,
these gems in your life would not have surfaced through the sift!

They are the ones who see you and care for you
truly,
who get you
and are worth getting from you
the kinds of things that an earnest heart yearns:
links of Humanity–kindness, friendship, love–
to result in the main thing for which people strive
in so many different ways
in hopes to achieve:
Joy.

In this realization,
your fears also dissipate,
because you know you will be alright,
come what may,
and that despite the betrayals, the cruel things
that your kindness has allowed into your life,
it was not all in vain.”

Grace be with you.  ~Yazminh

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